Why Aren't You Comfortable When Others Succeed?
What Tall Poppy Syndrome Reveals About Our Hearts
After years of sacrifice and tireless effort, my parents finally stepped into the home they had long dreamed of. To them, it wasn’t just a house—it was a reward. A testament to the hardships they overcame and the seasons they weathered.
Naturally, they wanted to share it with those who had journeyed with them. Friends, colleagues, and business associates were all invited to celebrate the milestone.
Celebration filled the house. Every room alive with music, every table heavy with food and wine, every heart light with laughter. They walked guests through every room, eager to share each detail with pride. It was their way of saying, we’ve made it—and we’re grateful.
But only a few months after that grand celebration, a troubling shift occurred. The sales of our family business began to dip. Some of our loyal customers seemed to be pulling away. My mother, who was handling the sales operations, reached out to one of them to ask, “We haven’t seen much activity from you lately. Is everything alright?”
What she heard was unexpected—and deeply disheartening.
“Oh, we thought it best to support smaller businesses now. You’ve already made it—you’ll be just fine without us.”
After that conversation I remember my mum saying to my dad, “Maybe we shouldn’t have thrown such a lavish party.” She must have felt the sting behind the Finnish poet’s words: “Who has happiness should hide it.”
Whether or not my mum was right is a conversation for another time. But the part of the story that has stayed with me—the part I feel compelled to reflect on—is something we often see but rarely name: the tall poppy syndrome.
We like cheering people on when they’re trying to get back up. We offer comfort, share their burdens, even say prayers for them.
But what happens when that same person begins to thrive? When their gifts start to bloom, when opportunities unfold, or when they step into something beautiful or hard-earned?
We go quiet.
We shift.
We scroll past without engaging.
We might even feel a twinge of discomfort we can’t explain.
Suddenly, it’s harder to celebrate.
A tall poppy syndrome is what happens when we cut others down—not because they’ve done something wrong, but because they’ve started to stand out. And while it may wear the mask of humility, fairness, or “just keeping it real,” it often reveals something else: the quiet grip of insecurity or the fear of being left behind.
Aren’t we reminded in Scripture to not only grieve with those who grieve but also to rejoice with those who rejoice? (Romans 12:15)
For many, rejoicing with others can be difficult, especially when their joy highlights our own lack—yet it’s exactly where the heart of God invites us to go.
Rejoice with those who rejoice.
Not just tolerate their wins.
Not just nod politely.
But truly, joyfully rejoice.
So here’s a question I realised I needed to ask myself:
Can I celebrate someone else’s success—even when I’m still waiting for my own?
Can I bless those who are stepping into abundance, without letting comparison rob me of joy?
Because the truth is, someone else’s blessing is not a threat to mine. And their growth doesn’t make me smaller—unless I choose to let it.
It’s a spiritual discipline to celebrate someone else’s blessing—especially when we’re still waiting on our own. But doing so enlarges our hearts. It teaches us to live not from a mindset of scarcity, but of trust—that what God gives to someone else doesn’t take away from what He has for us.
May this prayer live steadily within us:
Lord, examine my heart.
Help me notice when I shrink back instead of celebrate.
When I feel the sting of comparison, quiet my spirit.
Teach me to honour others when they rise
and to trust that You see me too.
Let my joy for others never be shallow or strained,
but rooted in love that is secure in You.
Amen.
Cindy
🎵 Listen to an inspiring song
If you’ve ever struggled to celebrate others while wondering if God has forgotten you, let this song remind you of a deeper truth: God’s goodness has never stopped chasing you.
Listen to “Goodness of God” by Cece Winans and let its words quiet your comparison, renew your trust, and awaken gratitude for the faithfulness that has carried you this far—and will carry you still.
▶️ Click here to listen to the song
